My dad just stop buying food, I mean yeah he buys food, for himself and his girlfriend. So I bought me some food for myself, and I just walked into the kitchen and saw that they cooked it for themselves.
Of course I just spilled all of it in the garbage because fuck them they won’t get to be assholes and get away with it.
And I might found an apartment but it’s not a fone deal yet and I just want it to be already because I can’t stand this anymore!!!
And it’s Friday night so I don’t want to bother anyone with my bullshit, and I’m so mad right now so here I am taking it out on the internet.
I’m so sick that people, who I consider my friends, hurt me.
The thing with London. she was like the only person I REALLY thought was like my bff, we’ve been friends for years. But she just fucking left me in the middle of London because she wasn’t in the fucking mood to sit in a park! And that’s after I had to be fine with her craping all over my joy in that trip. She fucking left me alone, after I paid for her ticket to London because she didn’t have money and she claimed she “loves London so much omg” (apparently she just loves their alcohol).
Not to mention how fucking rude she was the all time. We where there for my birthday, and on my actual birthday I wanted to go to this place but she wanted to go to another, which we would go to too, but I planned it all out so what I want to see more is first, still you know, it’s MY birthday. So what she does? She takes her phone out and start the navigation to where SHE wants to go, so I’m like “OMG WTF” and I take my phone out and go to where I want to go. And she doesn’t understand why I “disappeared” on her even after I told her that I just went to where I wanted to go in the first place, and she’s like “if you want to be alone just say so”. SHE HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW SHE BEHAVES!
And now she’s acting like nothing happened, like she did nothing wrong. And she doesn’t understand why I’m ignoring her. And I just know that somehow it’s all gonna be “my fault”, like I’m gonna be the bad guy in this all shit.
And I know that ignoring her is a little childish, but A. She acted like a fucking baby the whole trip, and B. I’m so sick of being a fucking punch bag, I’m so sick of letting people hurt me and then act like nothing happened and we’re cool now. Because it’s not cool, and it’s never gonna be cool again. She betrayed me and then acted like she did nothing wrong, and I’m sick of the fact that I keep letting people treat me like this.
And I’m sick of the fact that I have no real friends, they all ending up hurting me, even those who I never thought would.
And be reminded that no one gives a shit about you
For the FIRST time ever! Actually it’s my FIRST time ever being out of the country, it’s my 30th birthday gift to myself. And I’m here with my “best friend” who I asked to come with me because I know how much she loves London, or at least I thought I knew how much she loves London. Apparently she only loves the alcohol in London which we don’t have in our country.
Anyway I wanted her to come because I thought it would be fun and she’s depressed and she was always happy when she was in London so I paid for her ticket here because she doesn’t have money.
IT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!
Ever since I bought the tickets (6 months ago!!) All I hear from her is how she doesn’t have money and what will she do, but she wants to come so it’s gonna be fine. And of course she doesn’t have money but she thinks it’s a great time to get a dog, which she remembers to search for a shelter for him a week befor the flight.
But that’s not the point, the point is that I’m an idiot and I should just think about myself and not others. The point is her being a complete downer!
Every time I get excited about something she say something stupid and just ruins it for me. And ok yeah I get it you’re depressed, but when I feel shity I don’t shit on everyone’s else mode!
And then we were at a restaurant and she came back from the bathroom all smiling and she’s like “there’s another whole floor down stairs!” And I’m like “ok” and she gets mad at me because I wasn’t fucking excited about a fucking floor!! And she’s like “so what if you don’t care pretend like you do” I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!?!??!
And today she just left me in the middle of a fucking park because I wanted to rest because my feet are killing me so I set down on the grass and she’s like “I don’t want to sit here on the grass lets go”. But I can hardly walk so NO. So she just leaves me there!!!!
And now I go back to the hotel and she’s like “heyyyy” and fuck you bitch are you kidding me?!?! So of course I don’t talk to her and now she’s mad because I won’t talk to her.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH!!!!!!
Why the fuck am I so stupid! I should have come here alone
Every time someone at work, I won’t call them friends because they obviously aren’t, needs a favor or help with something I always there for them.
But when I ask for one little thing are they there for me? Of course not!
I just need to start learning how to say “no” to people.
I’m supposed to go to London on my birthday in less than a month with a friend.
The friend have depression and ok, I get it it’s hard but fuuuuck I just want to kill her right now.
She took a dog, forget that she doesn’t have money I don’t give a shit but SHE KNEW she was gonna be out of the country for a week!! We bought the tickets half a year ago!!
And now instead of being excited about the trip, which is my first time ever abord btw, I have to listen to her whining about how she can’t find a place for the dog. She didn’t plan ahead with the vaccines, so it’s too late for that, and the dog is problematic so he can’t be around other dogs and so on and so on…
And now she just goes “fuck it I’m not going! I don’t know what to do!”
Well thanks for that!! That’s what I need, to fucking cry and not know if this trip will even happen because she can’t think ahead of things.
And I knew this would happen the moment she took the dog.
I just want to be excited about this fucking trip!! And all she does is bring me down and I just regret this fucking idea of a trip. I don’t know why I thought it would work, I’m so stupid I really have only myself to blame.