Why I’m gonna die alone

23 Apr

So I started to chat with this guy on a dating site and things go pretty well so we moved on to Facebook. And after a few months he told me that I’m the only one that he found interesting and kept talking to.

A couple of months later he changed his Facebook status to “in a relationship” and now, like half a year later they moved together.

Now I know that it was probably my fault for taking things slow or “playing hard to get” but this is exactly the reason why I did!

Like either he was a liar or he’s the king of moving too damn fast, and I don’t like both options. This is exactly why I have trust issues, I have no tolerance for lies and I pretty much trust no one.

And I’ll never gonna have a boyfriend like this I know, but I just don’t want to waste my time with bullshit so what’s the difference really.

26 Mar

So I moved in to an apartment in Tel Aviv with my cousin and she’s driving me crazy!!

She leaves her dirty dishes in the sink and on the table so not only did I woke up today to find a cockroach on the cup of coffee she left, but of course I didn’t have a clean spoon left because for some reason they were all in the sink.

And the top of the morning was her underwear in the bathroom sink.

And every time I ask her clean after herself, or that this things really bother me, all she have to say is “chill out, it’s just one cup, stop bothering me all the time”.

She just act like she lives here alone, I got use to the fact that I have to clean the apartment alone or that she won’t wash the dishes right away, or that the washing machine will be full of her clothes because she’s too lazy to take them out (a washing machine I paid for btw.

But this it too fucking much! Why do I need to get up and find a cockroach in my kitchen or underwear in the sink??!!

I don’t know if all people are just shit or is it something about me that makes them act like assholes.

But my family is full of assholes on both sides.

6 Nov

My dad just stop buying food, I mean yeah he buys food, for himself and his girlfriend. So I bought me some food for myself, and I just walked into the kitchen and saw that they cooked it for themselves.

Of course I just spilled all of it in the garbage because fuck them they won’t get to be assholes and get away with it.

And I might found an apartment but it’s not a fone deal yet and I just want it to be already because I can’t stand this anymore!!!

And it’s Friday night so I don’t want to bother anyone with my bullshit, and I’m so mad right now so here I am taking it out on the internet.

3 Oct

So my dad have a new girlfriend and she moved in and he really found his soul mate, she’s selfish and annoying just like him.

Yesterday they spend the whole day in the kitchen from 8 to 8, cooking entertaining some friends… I got out of my room at 8pm and of course there was nothing to eat because all they cooked was meat, so I made me some pasta (after not eating the whole day because there was nothing to eat and no room to make it). And of course, there was no room in the fridge to put the pasts because it was full with their food.

And now I went to warm me a plate and look at that, the pasta was spoiled because it was left outside.

They just take care of themselves, I HATE people like that! And I’m looking for an apartment of my own but it’s not so easy to find with my salary and I just want to get out of this place already. And if I do I swear he won’t see me again in his life.

24 Sep

I’m so sick that people, who I consider my friends, hurt me.

The thing with London. she was like the only person I REALLY thought was like my bff, we’ve been friends for years. But she just fucking left me in the middle of London because she wasn’t in the fucking mood to sit in a park! And that’s after I had to be fine with her craping all over my joy in that trip. She fucking left me alone, after I paid for her ticket to London because she didn’t have money and she claimed she “loves London so much omg” (apparently she just loves their alcohol).
Not to mention how fucking rude she was the all time. We where there for my birthday, and on my actual birthday I wanted to go to this place but she wanted to go to another, which we would go to too, but I planned it all out so what I want to see more is first, still you know, it’s MY birthday. So what she does? She takes her phone out and start the navigation to where SHE wants to go, so I’m like “OMG WTF” and I take my phone out and go to where I want to go. And she doesn’t understand why I “disappeared” on her even after I told her that I just went to where I wanted to go in the first place, and she’s like “if you want to be alone just say so”. SHE HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW SHE BEHAVES!

And now she’s acting like nothing happened, like she did nothing wrong. And she doesn’t understand why I’m ignoring her. And I just know that somehow it’s all gonna be “my fault”, like I’m gonna be the bad guy in this all shit.

And I know that ignoring her is a little childish, but A. She acted like a fucking baby the whole trip, and B. I’m so sick of being a fucking punch bag, I’m so sick of letting people hurt me and then act like nothing happened and we’re cool now. Because it’s not cool, and it’s never gonna be cool again. She betrayed me and then acted like she did nothing wrong, and I’m sick of the fact that I keep letting people treat me like this.

And I’m sick of the fact that I have no real friends, they all ending up hurting me, even those who I never thought would.

How Good It Is To Come Back Home

13 Sep

And be reminded that no one gives a shit about you

So I’m in London

9 Sep

For the FIRST time ever! Actually it’s my FIRST time ever being out of the country, it’s my 30th birthday gift to myself. And I’m here with my “best friend” who I asked to come with me because I know how much she loves London, or at least I thought I knew how much she loves London. Apparently she only loves the alcohol in London which we don’t have in our country.

Anyway I wanted her to come because I thought it would be fun and she’s depressed and she was always happy when she was in London so I paid for her ticket here because she doesn’t have money.

IT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!

Ever since I bought the tickets  (6 months ago!!) All I hear from her is how she doesn’t have money and what will she do, but she wants to come so it’s gonna be fine. And of course she doesn’t have money but she thinks it’s a great time to get a dog, which she remembers to search for a shelter for him a week befor the flight.

But that’s not the point, the point is that I’m an idiot and I should just think about myself and not others. The point is her being a complete downer!
Every time I get excited about something she say something stupid and just ruins it for me. And ok yeah I get it you’re depressed, but when I feel shity I don’t shit on everyone’s else mode!

And then we were at a restaurant and she came back from the bathroom all smiling and she’s like “there’s another whole floor down stairs!” And I’m like “ok” and she gets mad at me because I wasn’t fucking excited about a fucking floor!! And she’s like “so what if you don’t care pretend like you do” I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!?!??!

And today she just left me in the middle of a fucking park because I wanted to rest because my feet are killing me so I set down on the grass and she’s like “I don’t want to sit here on the grass lets go”. But I can hardly walk so NO. So she just leaves me there!!!!

And now I go back to the hotel and she’s like “heyyyy” and fuck you bitch are you kidding me?!?! So of course I don’t talk to her and now she’s mad because I won’t talk to her.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH!!!!!!

Why the fuck am I so stupid! I should have come here alone

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