Tag Archives: Thoughts

So I have this friend

7 Aug

We are kind of good friends, we work together and we always hang out at work and sometimes outside of work too.  Now she considers me her best friend, I know that, BUT… I don’t think of her as my best friend, and this is why:

She’s a very derogatory, condescending  and jealous person. Foe example: Every time I hang out with someone else from work she gets mad that we don’t invite her. But

A. we don’t do things she likes, like we go out for marvel movies and she thinks they’re stupid. Or we go out drinking and she thinks that every one who drink, and I mean EVERYONE, even a beer once a month, is an alcoholic. 

B. When we do invite her to do those things she clearly hate she doesn’t say “no, thank you”. She refuses in the most condescending  way she can. Like she won’t come and hang with out friends boyfriend because he’s “not smart enough for me to hang out with him”. I kid you not.

C. And more importantly I don’t have to spend every second with her! We’re not married and she doesn’t have any hold on all of my free time!

So when we had enough of her saying “no” is such annoying ways, we just stopped asking her to come with us for things she hates.

And that’s not all. She’s always making fun of me, ALWAYS. She thinks I really dumb basically because I don’t always say word right, you know, I don’t pronounce them right. I spent most of my life not talking, I haven’t talked to anyone who wasn’t close to me, and most of the words I learned from reading, so I don’t always say things right. And she’s always making fun of me, she makes it into this big joke and she does it in front of everyone.

She’s always derogatory towards everyone who she doesn’t agree with him. She gets jealous when I get attention so she suddenly like the same things I like, even if a minute ago she thought they were really stupid. If I like something and I get attention for it she’s immediately likes it too (even if she really doesn’t).

Now the thing is that every time I had enough, every time she say something  condescending or derogatory I just stop talking. I just sit and don’t talk to her until she has something else to say. And when she notice that I don’t talk to her like I used to she gets mad because she doesn’t know why I’m mad at her. Oh BTW she’s studying psychology.

Anyway, when I, once in a blue moon, gets really sick of her bullshit I just put her on her mistakes. I tell her she’s doing of saying something wrong. And I guess her ego gets really hurt when I do that to her so she’s just yell and say “I’m sick of this ok!!” and then stop talking to me.

And I’m really had enough of this, she can treat me like crap 24\7 but she can’t take it when I tell her she’s wrong, because how an idiot like me can tell her she’s wrong right?

So now, because she didn’t know something in a trivia game (yes that’s right) she’s mad at me and she doesn’t talk to me.

This is not a best friend, I don’t trust her with anything and she basically knows nothing about me, because I don’t tell her stuff. I learned pretty fast who I’m dealing with here.

And the thing is that she’ll get over it and start talking to me again, because she doesn’t have any other friends (I wonder why), but I’m really sick of her and I really had enough this time. A fucking trivia game!!!

26 Mar

So I moved in to an apartment in Tel Aviv with my cousin and she’s driving me crazy!!

She leaves her dirty dishes in the sink and on the table so not only did I woke up today to find a cockroach on the cup of coffee she left, but of course I didn’t have a clean spoon left because for some reason they were all in the sink.

And the top of the morning was her underwear in the bathroom sink.

And every time I ask her clean after herself, or that this things really bother me, all she have to say is “chill out, it’s just one cup, stop bothering me all the time”.

She just act like she lives here alone, I got use to the fact that I have to clean the apartment alone or that she won’t wash the dishes right away, or that the washing machine will be full of her clothes because she’s too lazy to take them out (a washing machine I paid for btw.

But this it too fucking much! Why do I need to get up and find a cockroach in my kitchen or underwear in the sink??!!

I don’t know if all people are just shit or is it something about me that makes them act like assholes.

But my family is full of assholes on both sides.

3 Oct

So my dad have a new girlfriend and she moved in and he really found his soul mate, she’s selfish and annoying just like him.

Yesterday they spend the whole day in the kitchen from 8 to 8, cooking entertaining some friends… I got out of my room at 8pm and of course there was nothing to eat because all they cooked was meat, so I made me some pasta (after not eating the whole day because there was nothing to eat and no room to make it). And of course, there was no room in the fridge to put the pasts because it was full with their food.

And now I went to warm me a plate and look at that, the pasta was spoiled because it was left outside.

They just take care of themselves, I HATE people like that! And I’m looking for an apartment of my own but it’s not so easy to find with my salary and I just want to get out of this place already. And if I do I swear he won’t see me again in his life.

10 Jul

I always dream that people actually care about me.

And then I wake up and remember that no one really does.

I Didn’t Choose To Be Born

30 May

Here’s a pice of advise for you: If you don’t want kids, wear a condom.

I don’t understand why would you make your child feel shitty about themselves all the time, I don’t understand why I keep telling him things either. I guess I have no one else to share them with and I just want someone to be happy for me. But it always backfires.

Every time something good happens he’ll go out of his way to shit all over it, to make me feel like crap, and to annoy me when he knows I’ll get mad. I guess making me cry is an accomplish to him.

Right now he goes out of his way to not buy food, not pay the electric bill, not pay the internet… Because he knows I’m trying to save money for a trip to London. He does everything so I won’t be able to save a cent.

I just wish I could get out of this fucking house and leave him here alone to die, no one will come to visit him, no one will care. If I’ll ever find someone to love me he will not be invited to the wedding, he will never even meet him.

It’s his fault I’m alive, not mine, if it was up to me I would have never been born. So why am I being punished for it?

“Friends”

24 Apr

I don’t have friends, never had. I don’t mean like acquaintance, I have those, you might refer to them as “work friends” “school friends” “Facebook friends” or even “internet friends”.

I’m talking about REAL friends, the ones you talk to every day and go out with every week, the once that will be there for you, the once you know you can call if something good or bad happens. I don’t have friends. When my mother died I had no one to call to. It goes to family too, you know how sometimes your siblings are your best friends? Well, not for me, we barely talk.

And for years I thought that it’s because I’m a shitty, annoying person that no one wants to be around. And it is my fault, but not because of those reasons, it’s my fault because I’m a boring person.

Friendship is based on gossip, you tell me everything about you, all your secrets and I’ll do the same. You can’t have friends if you don’t have a life, if you have nothing to tell people. You can’t talk about other people you meet if you never meet anyone, you can’t tell about you love life if you don’t have any… And how much of the same boring “yeah I was just depressed and along sitting in my room watching TV” do you think people can take? How long will they even care? Well, not long.

So people think that you’re a very private and a very closed person, when in fact you have nothing to say. When in actuality you just don’t want to bore them to death. So they go and they talk to other people and they keep you out of the group, even when you’re “in” that group, you don’t really know anything. You’re the last one who get invited to things, the last one people address to…

So not only you have no life, you have no friends, which means you have no life and all you are left with is sitting alone in your room watching TV in the dark.

Just Words

30 Jan

I am an introvert. That means that when I’m feeling down, chances are that I won’t actually go to you for help. In fact, I won’t go to anyone for help. You’ll have to actually check on me. I don’t feel that I should burden others with my problems but if you come to me, I might just trust you enough to let you help.

This is basically me, I don’t like to talk to people about personal stuff I don’t see what good will come out of it. All you get is people telling you that everything will be fine or just telling you that you don’t suck, but I know that it’s not true. It’s just lies that meant to make you feel better, and it’s not, it’s just makes you feel like no one really knows you and the ones that really do makes you feel worthless.
And if the people that are most close to you don’t believe in you, why would you believe in yourself? Why would you believe what other people, people that just want to make you feel better, say?