Apparently my friends now think that every little thing I do is annoying just because there’s this new girl at work who doesn’t like me.
I feel like I’m in fucking high school again.
And what’s hurt the most is that they don’t see that they are different around me. I asked one of them if she wants to go out for a drink (which she knows means “I need someone to talk to”), and she said she prefer to go for a show with the new girl and my other friend.
So I basically just spent the night crying by myself.
so you know by now that my brother is an asshole, and that he doesn’t care about me.
well, yesterday was Rosh Hashna and we were invited to our cousiens, but I didn’t go becuase I really don’t want to see him. He think he can act like nothing happened, and like he did me this big favor so I can’t be mad at him, you see, I’m the bad person here of course.
So I didn’t go, I stayed home crying instead. And of course no one cared enough to call or text because no one cares about me, not even my family.
Well then, I’m done!
I’m done with people treating me like crap! I’m done with caring about people who don’t even give a shit about me! I’m not gonna be like my mother, I’m not gonna let people shit all over me and eat myself up about it until it killes me.
If my own brother think he can treat me like crap just because I’m boring, or just because I won’t share my feelings with him, (becuase he just keeps proving I should do that right?) then he can go fuck himself for all I care.
If you don’t give a shit about me, I won’t give a shit about you.
This is my new year desicion.
Maybe I’m really a terrible person and I deserve this shit from people, because I really don’t know why everyone treat me like crap.
There’s this girl at work and she’s weird, like really weird, and clingy. And me and my friend are the only ones who talk to her.
The problem is that she’s telling the boss EVERYTHING that happens. And now the other people at work think that me and my friend do the same. So they decided to tell the boss lies about us so he’ll fire us.
Now, he knows that they are after us but he’s also the one who should allowing it to happen by making them think it’s true. After all if they think we tell him everything then they won’t do anything they shouldn’t.
So now they don’t talk to me and I don’t want to work with them because what’s stopping them from telling more lies. But if they’ll hurt me with their lies then I’ll have nothing to lose and I WILL tell him all the shit they’re doing, and they’re doing a lot of shit which if I did tell him they would be so gone by now so I don’t know how they reached that conclusion at first place.
But in the meantime work became hell and I hate it, and I just want to stay at home and die.
My dad just stop buying food, I mean yeah he buys food, for himself and his girlfriend. So I bought me some food for myself, and I just walked into the kitchen and saw that they cooked it for themselves.
Of course I just spilled all of it in the garbage because fuck them they won’t get to be assholes and get away with it.
And I might found an apartment but it’s not a fone deal yet and I just want it to be already because I can’t stand this anymore!!!
And it’s Friday night so I don’t want to bother anyone with my bullshit, and I’m so mad right now so here I am taking it out on the internet.
I’m so sick that people, who I consider my friends, hurt me.
The thing with London. she was like the only person I REALLY thought was like my bff, we’ve been friends for years. But she just fucking left me in the middle of London because she wasn’t in the fucking mood to sit in a park! And that’s after I had to be fine with her craping all over my joy in that trip. She fucking left me alone, after I paid for her ticket to London because she didn’t have money and she claimed she “loves London so much omg” (apparently she just loves their alcohol).
Not to mention how fucking rude she was the all time. We where there for my birthday, and on my actual birthday I wanted to go to this place but she wanted to go to another, which we would go to too, but I planned it all out so what I want to see more is first, still you know, it’s MY birthday. So what she does? She takes her phone out and start the navigation to where SHE wants to go, so I’m like “OMG WTF” and I take my phone out and go to where I want to go. And she doesn’t understand why I “disappeared” on her even after I told her that I just went to where I wanted to go in the first place, and she’s like “if you want to be alone just say so”. SHE HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW SHE BEHAVES!
And now she’s acting like nothing happened, like she did nothing wrong. And she doesn’t understand why I’m ignoring her. And I just know that somehow it’s all gonna be “my fault”, like I’m gonna be the bad guy in this all shit.
And I know that ignoring her is a little childish, but A. She acted like a fucking baby the whole trip, and B. I’m so sick of being a fucking punch bag, I’m so sick of letting people hurt me and then act like nothing happened and we’re cool now. Because it’s not cool, and it’s never gonna be cool again. She betrayed me and then acted like she did nothing wrong, and I’m sick of the fact that I keep letting people treat me like this.
And I’m sick of the fact that I have no real friends, they all ending up hurting me, even those who I never thought would.
And be reminded that no one gives a shit about you