so you know by now that my brother is an asshole, and that he doesn’t care about me.
well, yesterday was Rosh Hashna and we were invited to our cousiens, but I didn’t go becuase I really don’t want to see him. He think he can act like nothing happened, and like he did me this big favor so I can’t be mad at him, you see, I’m the bad person here of course.
So I didn’t go, I stayed home crying instead. And of course no one cared enough to call or text because no one cares about me, not even my family.
Well then, I’m done!
I’m done with people treating me like crap! I’m done with caring about people who don’t even give a shit about me! I’m not gonna be like my mother, I’m not gonna let people shit all over me and eat myself up about it until it killes me.
If my own brother think he can treat me like crap just because I’m boring, or just because I won’t share my feelings with him, (becuase he just keeps proving I should do that right?) then he can go fuck himself for all I care.
If you don’t give a shit about me, I won’t give a shit about you.
This is my new year desicion.
Like really hate them!!
I hate going to the dentist, I always shake and cry and I haven’t been to one for over ten years. Until two months ago when I literally had to.
I went to a friend of my brother and he was really nice, he gave me a discount and he gave me laughing gas who turned out to be REALLY helpful.
But last week for some reason he didn’t turn the gas on. Needless to say that I felt really shitty during the treatment, I didn’t let him do his job, I didn’t stop shaking and crying.
He said that everything was ok, “just sn ordinary treatment”. He claims he did open the gas (even tho I SAW that he didn’t!!) And he doesn’t take any responsibility for his actions or ask for forgiveness.
And I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go back to him because he is obviously a liar and he show is true face. But I can’t eat anything cold and I can’t just stay with what he did because it’s not comfortable, because I was in too much shock to tell him of course.
And I’ve been crying for a week now because of this asshole. And of course my brother doesn’t care.
My dad just stop buying food, I mean yeah he buys food, for himself and his girlfriend. So I bought me some food for myself, and I just walked into the kitchen and saw that they cooked it for themselves.
Of course I just spilled all of it in the garbage because fuck them they won’t get to be assholes and get away with it.
And I might found an apartment but it’s not a fone deal yet and I just want it to be already because I can’t stand this anymore!!!
And it’s Friday night so I don’t want to bother anyone with my bullshit, and I’m so mad right now so here I am taking it out on the internet.
And be reminded that no one gives a shit about you
My dad has a new girlfriend and he’s been cleaning the house for a week now for her, something he didn’t do for 5 years. And she’s annoying, she’s French and she’s full of plastic surgery and she just stand there and giving orders so the house will look how she want it to look.
He also throw all my mom clothes, I took as many as I could fit into my closet but it wasn’t much. And I don’t know what he’s going to do with the rest of her stuff.
And I hate it because he’s an assholes and he was always an asshole and now he’s happy and that’s not fair.