Tag Archives: mad

So I have this friend

7 Aug

We are kind of good friends, we work together and we always hang out at work and sometimes outside of work too.  Now she considers me her best friend, I know that, BUT… I don’t think of her as my best friend, and this is why:

She’s a very derogatory, condescending  and jealous person. Foe example: Every time I hang out with someone else from work she gets mad that we don’t invite her. But

A. we don’t do things she likes, like we go out for marvel movies and she thinks they’re stupid. Or we go out drinking and she thinks that every one who drink, and I mean EVERYONE, even a beer once a month, is an alcoholic. 

B. When we do invite her to do those things she clearly hate she doesn’t say “no, thank you”. She refuses in the most condescending  way she can. Like she won’t come and hang with out friends boyfriend because he’s “not smart enough for me to hang out with him”. I kid you not.

C. And more importantly I don’t have to spend every second with her! We’re not married and she doesn’t have any hold on all of my free time!

So when we had enough of her saying “no” is such annoying ways, we just stopped asking her to come with us for things she hates.

And that’s not all. She’s always making fun of me, ALWAYS. She thinks I really dumb basically because I don’t always say word right, you know, I don’t pronounce them right. I spent most of my life not talking, I haven’t talked to anyone who wasn’t close to me, and most of the words I learned from reading, so I don’t always say things right. And she’s always making fun of me, she makes it into this big joke and she does it in front of everyone.

She’s always derogatory towards everyone who she doesn’t agree with him. She gets jealous when I get attention so she suddenly like the same things I like, even if a minute ago she thought they were really stupid. If I like something and I get attention for it she’s immediately likes it too (even if she really doesn’t).

Now the thing is that every time I had enough, every time she say something  condescending or derogatory I just stop talking. I just sit and don’t talk to her until she has something else to say. And when she notice that I don’t talk to her like I used to she gets mad because she doesn’t know why I’m mad at her. Oh BTW she’s studying psychology.

Anyway, when I, once in a blue moon, gets really sick of her bullshit I just put her on her mistakes. I tell her she’s doing of saying something wrong. And I guess her ego gets really hurt when I do that to her so she’s just yell and say “I’m sick of this ok!!” and then stop talking to me.

And I’m really had enough of this, she can treat me like crap 24\7 but she can’t take it when I tell her she’s wrong, because how an idiot like me can tell her she’s wrong right?

So now, because she didn’t know something in a trivia game (yes that’s right) she’s mad at me and she doesn’t talk to me.

This is not a best friend, I don’t trust her with anything and she basically knows nothing about me, because I don’t tell her stuff. I learned pretty fast who I’m dealing with here.

And the thing is that she’ll get over it and start talking to me again, because she doesn’t have any other friends (I wonder why), but I’m really sick of her and I really had enough this time. A fucking trivia game!!!

I have a problem

20 Jul

I work in frontal customer service and I don’t know how to be “nice” to people. I just want to say that I love my job, but I really need help with the talking to people part because I don’t know what to do.

I hate strangers, I’m a person who didn’t talk to anyone most of her life. And I mean ANYONE. I talked to my mom but that wasn’t really a long an meaningful conversations. I talk to my co workers but that’s just work stuff and jokes and that too after a few months of adjusting and opening up.

When I was in the fifth grade I was sick during class and I raised my hand to be excused to go to the bathroom. Luckily we had a system where is you had to go you’d raise two fingers and the teacher will know, unluckily the teacher was a bitch. You need to understand that even raising my hand was hard for me, I HATE any social interaction, but I did it, with a bit of convincing from my friend. But the teacher decided that she wants me to TELL her what I want, I didn’t’ I ended up throwing up in the middle of the class.

I haven’t change much since then, I still don’t talk to strangers, even a therapist, I tried that and just sat there for an hour staring at the wall. I don’t feel comfortable, I don’t feel safe, I just don’t like it! Writing anonymously on a blog gives me anxiety.

So when strangers come to me at work I really do my best to be nice, but when they start to argue or raise their voice I just don’t know what to do. I just reflect to them their behavior and of course that that makes me really rude. But I really don’t know how to handle this. All I want when a person comes to me is for them to go away.

I’m 32 years old, I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life, I don’t want to be alone all the time because I can’t talk to anyone, not even my “friends”. Of course I don’t really have friends.

I don’t know what to do and I need help.

26 Mar

So I moved in to an apartment in Tel Aviv with my cousin and she’s driving me crazy!!

She leaves her dirty dishes in the sink and on the table so not only did I woke up today to find a cockroach on the cup of coffee she left, but of course I didn’t have a clean spoon left because for some reason they were all in the sink.

And the top of the morning was her underwear in the bathroom sink.

And every time I ask her clean after herself, or that this things really bother me, all she have to say is “chill out, it’s just one cup, stop bothering me all the time”.

She just act like she lives here alone, I got use to the fact that I have to clean the apartment alone or that she won’t wash the dishes right away, or that the washing machine will be full of her clothes because she’s too lazy to take them out (a washing machine I paid for btw.

But this it too fucking much! Why do I need to get up and find a cockroach in my kitchen or underwear in the sink??!!

I don’t know if all people are just shit or is it something about me that makes them act like assholes.

But my family is full of assholes on both sides.

HELP!!!

18 Jul

My neighbours have this refrigerator that beeps every day, no matter what time it is, for hours. And it’s been going on for a year now and we asked them to stop but they just keep doing it. FOR A YEAR!!! It’s just beep beep beep beep for hours!!!!!!

And it just drives me crazy I can’t take it anymore!!!! I just can’t take it anymore!!!!!!!! It’s like torture!!!! And they now it bothers me and drives me crazy but they don’t give a shit!!! They do it on purpose!! They admitted that they’re doing it on purpose!!!!!!!

And I called the police twice but they don’t do shit because when they get here the motherfuckers turn it off so the police is like “we can’t do anything if we can’t hear anything”.

And I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!

I just spent an hour outside yelling at them “ENOUGH!!!” but they just stand and look at me trough the window with their kids and laugh. THEY DRIVE ME CRAZY AND THEN MAKE FUN OF ME!!!! (they are religious people btw).

And I just can’t take it anymore I want to kill myself, I just want it to stop!

I Didn’t Choose To Be Born

30 May

Here’s a pice of advise for you: If you don’t want kids, wear a condom.

I don’t understand why would you make your child feel shitty about themselves all the time, I don’t understand why I keep telling him things either. I guess I have no one else to share them with and I just want someone to be happy for me. But it always backfires.

Every time something good happens he’ll go out of his way to shit all over it, to make me feel like crap, and to annoy me when he knows I’ll get mad. I guess making me cry is an accomplish to him.

Right now he goes out of his way to not buy food, not pay the electric bill, not pay the internet… Because he knows I’m trying to save money for a trip to London. He does everything so I won’t be able to save a cent.

I just wish I could get out of this fucking house and leave him here alone to die, no one will come to visit him, no one will care. If I’ll ever find someone to love me he will not be invited to the wedding, he will never even meet him.

It’s his fault I’m alive, not mine, if it was up to me I would have never been born. So why am I being punished for it?

Aside 2 Mar

Sometimes I really don’t know if some people are really THAT stupid or if they just don’t care. 

I mean, they see that they hurt someone, or make them feel uncomfortable and they just keep acting the same way.