Apparently my friends now think that every little thing I do is annoying just because there’s this new girl at work who doesn’t like me.
I feel like I’m in fucking high school again.
And what’s hurt the most is that they don’t see that they are different around me. I asked one of them if she wants to go out for a drink (which she knows means “I need someone to talk to”), and she said she prefer to go for a show with the new girl and my other friend.
So I basically just spent the night crying by myself.
so you know by now that my brother is an asshole, and that he doesn’t care about me.
well, yesterday was Rosh Hashna and we were invited to our cousiens, but I didn’t go becuase I really don’t want to see him. He think he can act like nothing happened, and like he did me this big favor so I can’t be mad at him, you see, I’m the bad person here of course.
So I didn’t go, I stayed home crying instead. And of course no one cared enough to call or text because no one cares about me, not even my family.
Well then, I’m done!
I’m done with people treating me like crap! I’m done with caring about people who don’t even give a shit about me! I’m not gonna be like my mother, I’m not gonna let people shit all over me and eat myself up about it until it killes me.
If my own brother think he can treat me like crap just because I’m boring, or just because I won’t share my feelings with him, (becuase he just keeps proving I should do that right?) then he can go fuck himself for all I care.
If you don’t give a shit about me, I won’t give a shit about you.
This is my new year desicion.
Maybe I’m really a terrible person and I deserve this shit from people, because I really don’t know why everyone treat me like crap.
Like really hate them!!
I hate going to the dentist, I always shake and cry and I haven’t been to one for over ten years. Until two months ago when I literally had to.
I went to a friend of my brother and he was really nice, he gave me a discount and he gave me laughing gas who turned out to be REALLY helpful.
But last week for some reason he didn’t turn the gas on. Needless to say that I felt really shitty during the treatment, I didn’t let him do his job, I didn’t stop shaking and crying.
He said that everything was ok, “just sn ordinary treatment”. He claims he did open the gas (even tho I SAW that he didn’t!!) And he doesn’t take any responsibility for his actions or ask for forgiveness.
And I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go back to him because he is obviously a liar and he show is true face. But I can’t eat anything cold and I can’t just stay with what he did because it’s not comfortable, because I was in too much shock to tell him of course.
And I’ve been crying for a week now because of this asshole. And of course my brother doesn’t care.
So I started to chat with this guy on a dating site and things go pretty well so we moved on to Facebook. And after a few months he told me that I’m the only one that he found interesting and kept talking to.
A couple of months later he changed his Facebook status to “in a relationship” and now, like half a year later they moved together.
Now I know that it was probably my fault for taking things slow or “playing hard to get” but this is exactly the reason why I did!
Like either he was a liar or he’s the king of moving too damn fast, and I don’t like both options. This is exactly why I have trust issues, I have no tolerance for lies and I pretty much trust no one.
And I’ll never gonna have a boyfriend like this I know, but I just don’t want to waste my time with bullshit so what’s the difference really.
My dad just stop buying food, I mean yeah he buys food, for himself and his girlfriend. So I bought me some food for myself, and I just walked into the kitchen and saw that they cooked it for themselves.
Of course I just spilled all of it in the garbage because fuck them they won’t get to be assholes and get away with it.
And I might found an apartment but it’s not a fone deal yet and I just want it to be already because I can’t stand this anymore!!!
And it’s Friday night so I don’t want to bother anyone with my bullshit, and I’m so mad right now so here I am taking it out on the internet.