Tag Archives: alone
20 Feb

Remember the A hole dentist that traumatized me? Well I went back to him so he’d fix what he did and so I could actually close my mouth and I went with a friend. 

Now this was the friend who tried to help and ask my brother for help so she knew how I felt aftet and she knew I was mad at him. Nevertheless she decided to bring her own x rays so he’d look at them. And if it wasn’t clear to her that it’s NOT cool I made it clear that same day. 

Because IMO, and correct me if I’m wrong, telling him you want him to treat you kind of say to him (and everyone else ) that you believe he did nothing wrong. Right?  So I told her that it really hurt me and that this is what it means. It means she agrees with him, even though she saw how I was afterwards. 

And now I found out that she still talks to him and plan to go see him. 

Now maybe I give to much meaning to the word friendship, I really don’t know because I don’t have many friends, even the ones I have I don’t trust (I guess this is why). But personally I would never do anything to hurt them, no matter what. 

This friend is also friends with people I don’t really like, and that’s cool, but I told her that it’s really insulting that she spends more time with them and just ignore me. Now every time I tell her something like this she say “it’s all in your head”. But when she doesn’t tell me things and then ansewr me like a complete bitch, because in her head I already know something she never told me, she gets mad that I’m mad at her. 

You see, it’s fine when she treat me like garbage but when I call her on it she gets hurt. 

And this is why I trust no one and I’m alone. Because everyone are just shit. 

14 May

There’s this girl at work and she’s weird, like really weird, and clingy. And me and my friend are the only ones who talk to her.

The problem is that she’s telling the boss EVERYTHING that happens. And now the other people at work think that me and my friend do the same. So they decided to tell the boss lies about us so he’ll fire us.

Now, he knows that they are after us but he’s also the one who should allowing it to happen by making them think it’s true. After all if they think we tell him everything then they won’t do anything they shouldn’t.

So now they don’t talk to me and I don’t want to work with them because what’s stopping them from telling more lies. But if they’ll hurt me with their lies then I’ll have nothing to lose and I WILL tell him all the shit they’re doing, and they’re doing a lot of shit which if I did tell him they would be so gone by now so I don’t know how they reached that conclusion at first place.

But in the meantime work became hell and I hate it, and I just want to stay at home and die.

26 Mar

So I moved in to an apartment in Tel Aviv with my cousin and she’s driving me crazy!!

She leaves her dirty dishes in the sink and on the table so not only did I woke up today to find a cockroach on the cup of coffee she left, but of course I didn’t have a clean spoon left because for some reason they were all in the sink.

And the top of the morning was her underwear in the bathroom sink.

And every time I ask her clean after herself, or that this things really bother me, all she have to say is “chill out, it’s just one cup, stop bothering me all the time”.

She just act like she lives here alone, I got use to the fact that I have to clean the apartment alone or that she won’t wash the dishes right away, or that the washing machine will be full of her clothes because she’s too lazy to take them out (a washing machine I paid for btw.

But this it too fucking much! Why do I need to get up and find a cockroach in my kitchen or underwear in the sink??!!

I don’t know if all people are just shit or is it something about me that makes them act like assholes.

But my family is full of assholes on both sides.

3 Oct

So my dad have a new girlfriend and she moved in and he really found his soul mate, she’s selfish and annoying just like him.

Yesterday they spend the whole day in the kitchen from 8 to 8, cooking entertaining some friends… I got out of my room at 8pm and of course there was nothing to eat because all they cooked was meat, so I made me some pasta (after not eating the whole day because there was nothing to eat and no room to make it). And of course, there was no room in the fridge to put the pasts because it was full with their food.

And now I went to warm me a plate and look at that, the pasta was spoiled because it was left outside.

They just take care of themselves, I HATE people like that! And I’m looking for an apartment of my own but it’s not so easy to find with my salary and I just want to get out of this place already. And if I do I swear he won’t see me again in his life.

24 Sep

I’m so sick that people, who I consider my friends, hurt me.

The thing with London. she was like the only person I REALLY thought was like my bff, we’ve been friends for years. But she just fucking left me in the middle of London because she wasn’t in the fucking mood to sit in a park! And that’s after I had to be fine with her craping all over my joy in that trip. She fucking left me alone, after I paid for her ticket to London because she didn’t have money and she claimed she “loves London so much omg” (apparently she just loves their alcohol).
Not to mention how fucking rude she was the all time. We where there for my birthday, and on my actual birthday I wanted to go to this place but she wanted to go to another, which we would go to too, but I planned it all out so what I want to see more is first, still you know, it’s MY birthday. So what she does? She takes her phone out and start the navigation to where SHE wants to go, so I’m like “OMG WTF” and I take my phone out and go to where I want to go. And she doesn’t understand why I “disappeared” on her even after I told her that I just went to where I wanted to go in the first place, and she’s like “if you want to be alone just say so”. SHE HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW SHE BEHAVES!

And now she’s acting like nothing happened, like she did nothing wrong. And she doesn’t understand why I’m ignoring her. And I just know that somehow it’s all gonna be “my fault”, like I’m gonna be the bad guy in this all shit.

And I know that ignoring her is a little childish, but A. She acted like a fucking baby the whole trip, and B. I’m so sick of being a fucking punch bag, I’m so sick of letting people hurt me and then act like nothing happened and we’re cool now. Because it’s not cool, and it’s never gonna be cool again. She betrayed me and then acted like she did nothing wrong, and I’m sick of the fact that I keep letting people treat me like this.

And I’m sick of the fact that I have no real friends, they all ending up hurting me, even those who I never thought would.

How Good It Is To Come Back Home

13 Sep

And be reminded that no one gives a shit about you

So I’m in London

9 Sep

For the FIRST time ever! Actually it’s my FIRST time ever being out of the country, it’s my 30th birthday gift to myself. And I’m here with my “best friend” who I asked to come with me because I know how much she loves London, or at least I thought I knew how much she loves London. Apparently she only loves the alcohol in London which we don’t have in our country.

Anyway I wanted her to come because I thought it would be fun and she’s depressed and she was always happy when she was in London so I paid for her ticket here because she doesn’t have money.

IT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!

Ever since I bought the tickets  (6 months ago!!) All I hear from her is how she doesn’t have money and what will she do, but she wants to come so it’s gonna be fine. And of course she doesn’t have money but she thinks it’s a great time to get a dog, which she remembers to search for a shelter for him a week befor the flight.

But that’s not the point, the point is that I’m an idiot and I should just think about myself and not others. The point is her being a complete downer!
Every time I get excited about something she say something stupid and just ruins it for me. And ok yeah I get it you’re depressed, but when I feel shity I don’t shit on everyone’s else mode!

And then we were at a restaurant and she came back from the bathroom all smiling and she’s like “there’s another whole floor down stairs!” And I’m like “ok” and she gets mad at me because I wasn’t fucking excited about a fucking floor!! And she’s like “so what if you don’t care pretend like you do” I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!?!??!

And today she just left me in the middle of a fucking park because I wanted to rest because my feet are killing me so I set down on the grass and she’s like “I don’t want to sit here on the grass lets go”. But I can hardly walk so NO. So she just leaves me there!!!!

And now I go back to the hotel and she’s like “heyyyy” and fuck you bitch are you kidding me?!?! So of course I don’t talk to her and now she’s mad because I won’t talk to her.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH!!!!!!

Why the fuck am I so stupid! I should have come here alone