Archive | May, 2015

I Didn’t Choose To Be Born

30 May

Here’s a pice of advise for you: If you don’t want kids, wear a condom.

I don’t understand why would you make your child feel shitty about themselves all the time, I don’t understand why I keep telling him things either. I guess I have no one else to share them with and I just want someone to be happy for me. But it always backfires.

Every time something good happens he’ll go out of his way to shit all over it, to make me feel like crap, and to annoy me when he knows I’ll get mad. I guess making me cry is an accomplish to him.

Right now he goes out of his way to not buy food, not pay the electric bill, not pay the internet… Because he knows I’m trying to save money for a trip to London. He does everything so I won’t be able to save a cent.

I just wish I could get out of this fucking house and leave him here alone to die, no one will come to visit him, no one will care. If I’ll ever find someone to love me he will not be invited to the wedding, he will never even meet him.

It’s his fault I’m alive, not mine, if it was up to me I would have never been born. So why am I being punished for it?

28 May

I really see no reason to stay alive

28 May

Today it happened again, a guy hit on a friend of mine. It happens all the time, every time I’m with a friend someone hits on them. And it’s not even the same friend, it’s a different friend every time.

This time the guy was nice to me, apparently to get to her. I don’t even know why I keep thinking I have any chance with any guy. The only guy who hit on me are old, and I mean 60 years old old.

And to top that on my way home some bitch shouted to me out of a car: “Listen, you’re ugly”.

It’s been 30 years and things won’t get better.

Trust no one

28 May

It was never easy for me to trust people, I don’t trust people. That’s why I don’t really have a best friend or any friends really.

And it’s not because I don’t try to trust people, I really do, but they keep disappointing me. Just when I begin to think that maybe I can trust that person they go and do or say something shitty.  And I’m just left thinking why even bother? Everyone are shit, I just need to keep things to myself like I always did.

But what’s really annoying is that those people at some point comes to me complaining that I’m so “closed” and “never share anything about myself”… And it’s just makes me so frustrated.

The only place I can be really me is this shitty blog

The Kind Of Girl

26 May

I’m not the kind of girl which men fall in love with in first sight, I’m the “ugly friend” of that girl.

I’m not the kind of girl who can keep a conversation going because I believe that no one really cares.

I’m not the kind of girl who’ll go on a one night stand because I’m not looking for sex I’m looking for love.

I’m not the kind of girl who will open up to people she doesn’t trust, and I don’t trust many people.

I’m not the kind of girl who’ll get a “happily ever after”. I’m the kind of girl who will die alone.